i don't sleep anymore

i have so much i want to tell you
and
show you
its in my
saliva
now

it tells my teeth not to shiver

its like putting music in a folder
its like putting all the
memories of the person you
love
in a cardboard box
or choosing to leave them scattered
about your life

so your room feels like a kiss

it bruises the heart not to be able
to throw away my dead bonsai trees
they needed me and i
let them die
i don't know how to do anything
but apologize to the only one left
and if a cardboard box had some colors
more like life than dirt
i wouldn't mind being
inside it

but somehow all those fucking trees
grow from that dirt
they eat our exhales
and they enjoy the sun
they do everything i don't know how to

so i'm letting them die

sometimes we burn our memories
and
sometimes we have forest fires

i tried to believe

its like if something can
go wrong
for me lately
it does
like death is throwing
little pebbles in my eyes
because death would rather see if there are any ripples
on the surface
of something that
just wants to be still
even water
the way it can be running
all so silent together
and there
at the divide between it and you
the air and liquid silence
there is this stillness
even though the earth
is spinning like a god damn mad man
because it doesn't know which
planet is laughing at it
that water has learned how to be still
but death is like a child
and it makes waves
maybe it likes that light
learned how to dance
before any of us
but did water ever really want to be it's floor
and
when those stones land in my
eyes
there isn't anything there for him
death forgets about me
and blood is just traffic
our accidents the jam
and where is my accident

undress

just because
we are us
it doesn't mean it has to
be an
us
its like when you feel
too much
when you swear on your
insomnia
youre losing your blood
to the air around you
the way the tree and the sap
slips one another
curious
if maybe seeing yourself
flow into a bucket
wouldn't feel good
the marvel
of people thinking you sweet
tasting it
without ever having to
meet them
coat their dreams at breakfast with its; confection
coat the tongues with a high
and for tasting and sleep
to have grown so
cold
to need coats
i just don't know
share our despondency
amongst eachother
the way we do with our cavities
until we hurt
until it hurts
until
when we remember again
to forget
the four chambers of our chests
one for
each season
and the way they repeat
our bloods knot
dance
yours
the soft kittens paw
creases red
and what can i give you
you haven't had before?
unbuttoned dreams sit
as butterflies without wings
the way we have
with eyelashes in our hands
sink your teeth into me
like an apple
until there is nothing left
but core
you will see what i'm capable of

the loss

I WANT
TO LIGHT MY FUCKING
BAIL MONEY
ON FIRE
I WANT
TO PUT HOLES IN MY WALLS
I WANT
TO BLEED
I WANT
THE BLOOD ON MY TONGUE
SO I CAN TASTE
HOW I
DISAPPOINT
im scared.

i want to move to you
and
you know what
i mean
and
i don't like end
but god damn
how i want to kiss
piano invented with a kiss
tell me please
why the things i write
only feel pretty
with you on my
fingers
just
i want
heat and a wall
a girl and fall
sleeping is a myth
cat on the low of my; back
sentinel
it's not my fault
you're a rainbow chew
pretty
slender belly of river bed
stomach of the maples
sundae sweet
please never say
sunday
with me.
shall we get lost in showers
lyrics
i guess
we are the ones they
eat up
i know you don't mind
mine of the mind
and
you're mine to keep
i mean the keep of your garden eyes
now it is my fault
when they spill
their green
into my
tongue
that wishes to move like a tail
but tale of
our dreams attire
did you know i wear you
all over me
by the way
beds don't always have to say
sleep
staircase of the sheet
your scent
pulls over me
not afraid of your height
where once again
i want your cloud teeth
to draw the blood of
my
red
wrong, if you think
it wont be a
horizon
in the mouth
of our
sore
cheek raindrops
please my dear don't worry
i know
your hearts thunderstorm
do you
did i see you die four times
in one night
wish my eyes were your
clover
cover
worries with my hands
i don't mean
those
leaf eyes
oh yeah,
the moons the only one we
don't dodge
wear it's colour on
my skin
whiter
than the charm
of your
satellite sigh
and even though i try to stitch
veins
i fear
mine are losing their
hue
summers soon but
my jaw closes
like
winter
and
i miss on you

i'll
nickname
you
my paper deer
now
use your iris ink
when will my unsettling sorrow
retake me
not long
glass eyes pleading
not to forget the
moon

i love her i love her i love her
i love her i love her i love her
i love her i love her i love her
i love her i love her i love her
i love her i love her i love her
i love her i love her i love her
i love her i love her i love her
i love her i love her i love her
i love her i love her i love her
i love her i love her i love her
i love her i love her i love her
i love her i love her i love her
i love her i love her i love her
i love her i love her i love her
i love her i love her i love her
i love her i love her i love her
i love her i love her i love her
i love her i love her i love her
i love her i love her i love her
i love her i love her i love her
i love her i love her i love her
i love her i love her i love her
I LOVE HER
.