i don't sleep anymore

i have so much i want to tell you
and
show you
its in my
saliva
now

it tells my teeth not to shiver

its like putting music in a folder
its like putting all the
memories of the person you
love
in a cardboard box
or choosing to leave them scattered
about your life

so your room feels like a kiss

it bruises the heart not to be able
to throw away my dead bonsai trees
they needed me and i
let them die
i don't know how to do anything
but apologize to the only one left
and if a cardboard box had some colors
more like life than dirt
i wouldn't mind being
inside it

but somehow all those fucking trees
grow from that dirt
they eat our exhales
and they enjoy the sun
they do everything i don't know how to

so i'm letting them die

sometimes we burn our memories
and
sometimes we have forest fires